• 03 •

Dumating ka na rin ba sa phase where you realize that you need to pray for your heart?

...ipag-pray ko muna 'yung puso ko...

"Lord, help me. May You fix the posture of my heart..."

I learned this prayer from one of my close friends and sisters in Christ. We were talking about something that time, and then she shared that she needed to pray for her heart first—the posture of the heart.

To be more specific, at that time, we were talking about praying for someone... pero hindi 'yan ang kwento for today😅

Kidding aside, so going back sa kwento—nung una, naisip ko na tama talaga. Pero hindi pa agad nag-sink in sa'kin 'yung sinabi niya. Ang thinking ko pa nu'n, iba-iba naman ang dealing ni Lord sa mga anak Niya (which is true, my friend!)

Not until dumating 'yung araw na naintindihan ko na talaga.

Naalala ko lang din 'yung kwentuhan namin that time, kasi it turns out, it applies pala sa lahat ng areas ng life—hindi lang sa praying for someone. Naintindihan ko lang talaga 'yun nung ako mismo, at nung na-observe ko rin sa ibang tao—lalo na sa sarili ko.

...ipag-pray ko muna 'yung puso ko...

Isa sa mga part ng life ko ngayon ay 'yung makarinig ng iba't ibang testimonies—how God changed their lives. At 'yung pinaka-bottom line ng mga sine-share nila is how God really changed, and continues to change, their hearts. Kahit hindi nila directly sinasabi na, "God changed my heart...", I can just see and sense it—through the way they testify about their past self vs. their present self—encountered and humbled by God.  

Taas kamay at apir sa mga nakarinig na ng ganitong testimonies! 🙌🏻🖐🏻 

Ako lang ba? Pero ang powerful talaga ng ganito, 'diba? 🥹

Kaya grateful din ako sa ganitong moments kasi iniisip ko na the Lord speaks to me through their testimonies too!

And I realized kung gaano talaga kahalaga na i-guard 'yung heart natin. Pabago-bago kasi... Kaya napa-pray na lang ako sa Lord na tulungan Niya rin ako, kasi hindi ko rin mapagkatiwalaan 'yung sarili ko. I can't even understand myself...

Let's read and be reminded of God's Word together :)

Above all else, guard your heart. For everything you do, flows from it. - Proverbs 4:23

Narealize ko rin na hindi talaga dapat basta-basta pagkatiwalaan ang puso. We should guard it—I must guard it. Kailangan maging careful, kasi hindi lahat ng good things na natutunan o narinig ko ay galing agad sa Lord. At hindi rin lahat ng bagay dapat i-entertain.

At hindi siya gano'n kadali.

I'll put myself in danger if I rely more on what I feel—on what my heart feels. Delikado talaga.

Grabe mag-fluctuate! Ngayon okay ka, tapos after a few hours, hindi na naman...

Totoo rin talaga na the heart is deceiving. You can't fully trust it. If I follow my heart blindly, damay lahat—every area of my life, especially my spiritual life. Even the relationships I have get affected. (Hindi ko pa alam kung paano ko ikukwento nang mas specific... please bear with me 🙏🏻)

That's why I always ask the Lord: may His Holy Spirit help me discern what is right, and search me—my deepest thoughts, both in my heart and in my mind.

Am I praying this because I want to satisfy myself?

Are my motives pure? Or is it just me? Am I just being emotional?

Will this glorify God—or is it just to please people, or even myself?

And when it comes to moments like, "Parang hindi ko maramdaman 'yung presence ng Lord… May mali ba akong nagawa?"—it hits me deeply. When I'm in that kind of situation, I immediately start to pray. Not perfect words—just, "Lord, I don't know what's going on…"

And that's me! That's how I'm walking with the Lord right now. What I'm praying for these days is that He helps me—every single day—even when it's hard. I believe God will always meet me wherever I am. I'm still praying for my heart: that it may learn to love, to bring peace, and to carry joy. That this heart would become more like Jesus'—so I can love others the way He loves me.

It might sound cringe to some, but honestly, that's how it should be as a Christian—if I truly claim to be His follower. :')

Pero alam mo ba, I'm also in a phase right now where I'm wondering if I'm just overreacting or putting too much pressure on myself. But at the same time, I know that this is part of the process. (I think the Holy Spirit is working, woah!) And yes, it's kind of painful—but I'm also grateful, because God's grace sustains me and helps me endure it. I pray the same for you! :)

Let's read it together :) 

Jeremiah 17:9 NIV

[9] The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

No one :') 🙋🏻‍♀️

May the Lord help me to lead my heart, to surrender it, and to fully entrust it to Him. Amen.

Ang best part pa rito? Alam ng Lord kung ano talaga ang exact na nangyayari sa life natin. We just need to come to Him as we are—and surely, He will welcome us. 😊

Note to self: If you're praying for something to the Lord, check your heart first—and pray for your heart too!

Noted, self. 😳

Alam mo ba, ngayong mid-20s ko lang talaga ito natutunan and ayun, that's all for today! Thank you ulit sa iyong time sa pagbabasa ng aking random thoughts and momentz 😁

Heart-check? Heart check! ❤️

Have a great day! 

Your little siszum in Christ,

shekiya :)

P.S Love you with the love of Jesus ^^

peace. love. joy. 

🌿

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ep. 03: Heart-check? Heart check!