• 02 •

Totoo pala talaga 'yung sinasabi nila...

The more you walk with God, the more you realize how much you truly need Him.

Why? Because if you want to grow and become more like Jesus, He will change everything in your life—if you allow Him to. 

God made me realize that.

And these are some things I had already heard before—but only truly discovered and felt the impact of in my mid-20s:

Without God, I am nothing. 

The Lord will expose the areas in my life that need transformation.

It’s only by His grace that I’ve come this far. 

Trust God, even when it doesn’t make sense. 

The waiting season isn’t just about meeting the person God has for me, or waiting for the prayers you're praying a long long time ago—it's also preparation for His Kingdom.

I know na hindi lang din ako familiar pero ang grabe na niyan for me :')

 

Without God, I am nothing. Totoo ito— because the life I have now isn’t even mine. ‘Yung hininga ko, sa Kanya nanggaling.

Have you ever thought about this?

Kung sa Lord galing 'yung life ko na pinahiram Niya lang sakin, ibig sabihin anytime pwede na Niyang kuhanin...

Sounds scary, 'diba? Pero alam mo ba, I used to be really afraid of death. To the point that I would suddenly panic or feel anxious whenever I sensed something unusual in my body. But God made me realize:

This life is not mine. It’s His... Only God, knows what will happen... (I'll share 'yung mas specific na nangyari, next time dahil medyo mahaba-habang explanation din😅)

Tumagal din ako sa phase na ito, dumaan muna 'yung ilang days na takot ako before mag-sink in sakin. May times din na ang tempting gawin 'yung sinasabi na YOLO (You Only Live Once), so mag-grind ka! Go for it! Magpakasaya ka na!

But deep inside, I knew that’s not how it works with the Lord. Once you choose to surrender your life to Him and fully entrust it into His hands, He will also begin to help you, even you didn't fully understand, that this life means nothing if we are apart from Him. We cannot rely on our own strength, and we do not own this life. What God wants is for us to steward the life He has given us—living it in a way that brings glory to Him while we are still here. That’s how God works...

Amen? Ameeen!

Unti-unti rin ko rin natututunan na to rely on Him more. Mag-paalam sa Kanya sa lahat ng gagawin— to consult Him even 'yung maliliit na bagay na sa tingin ko ay kaya ko naman? But the truth is, God wants to be involved in every area of my life. That’s why I keep practicing this kahit may days talaga malilimutan lalo na kapag nasa overwhelming akong situation.

And yep... that’s me! 😅

As I walk with God, dito ko rin unti-unting nakikita 'yung flaws and imperfections sa sarili ko. Like, grabe! The Lord really exposes the areas in my life that need transformation. Absolutely true!

I only began to see this clearly when something unexpected happened—and that was just in 2024.

Kapag binabalikan ko 'yung time na 'yon, napapatanong na lang ako...

"Ako ba talaga 'yun Lord?"

Sa Christian life, ang real battle hindi sa outward—it’s inward. At alam mo ba, I realized how badly I treated one of my closest family members. I judged her. There were so many thoughts in my mind at the time, to the point na mabigat na rin sa loob ko...

Gossiper. Judger. Perfectionist.

That’s how I would describe myself during that season. And honestly, I was so ashamed of who I had become. Like—what’s wrong with me? :|

I thought I was representing Jesus well in my life. Akala ko, grace and love pa rin Niya ‘yung pinapakita ko pero hindi pala... I was blinded by the mistake, and there was a part of me that wanted that person to be condemned because of their faults.

At that time, I was so frustrated. I didn't even know what to do just to save that person... Hindi na rin ako naging aware sa naging actions ko dahil sa galit at disappointments... 

Akala ko tatagal pa 'yan ng isang taon, but I really thank God because He didn't allow that to happen. He made a way for us to reconcile, to receive love and forgiveness. At hindi rin talaga naging madali iyon.

And the battle in the mind is real—pwedeng gamitin ito ng kaaway (evil). The devil’s tactics will try to steal you from God. Parang ganito ang mga naiisip:

"Patatawarin ko ba siya? Deserve ba siyang patawarin?" 

"Kailangan din niyang mag-suffer kasi may ginawa rin siyang mali", 

and so on...

But God helped me that time. He used people that close to me and made a right decision. And I remembered that I prayed for it too!

"Lord, please help me to love people, especially my family, despite po sa flaws and imperfections nila..."

That was my prayer last year and akalain mo 'yun may dagdag na sa dulo :) so my prayer now is:

"Lord, please help me to love people especially my family despite po sa flaws and imperfections nila just like me. May Your grace and love extend to them through me. Help me to see them with love, just as You have seen me, because, just like me, they truly need You in their lives."

Yes, the Lord really changed this area of my life, and He will keep changing it basta I allow Him to kasi kung hindi, baka dala-dala ko pa rin hanggang ngayon yung stress. That is why, from the day that happened, I learned to depend on God more 'cause that's outside my control din. God gave me the wisdom to first acknowledge what I really felt, to Him, and to ask Him to help me.

And also yes, may days pa rin na nahihirapan ako, but God is really good kasi His grace really helps me to do what I should, and I'm still praying for that… I could say na it's for self-growth, but I would also say that this is for His glory.

Ang dami pang ganap nu'n, and I'm also grateful kasi I know God allowed it to happen para matutunan ko rin 'yung mga tinuturo Niya sa akin — and also, He rescued me. :)

Lord, thank You for Your grace. It is really enough…

And… eto muna ulit! Medyo overwhelming na rin hahaha! Hindi ko alam kung paano ko ikukwento yung iba… So that’s all for today’s video (⁠~⁠￣⁠³⁠￣⁠)⁠~.

Thank you so muchy ulit for your time sa pagbabasa! ^_^

Your little siszum in Christ,

shekiya :)

P.S Love you with the love of Jesus ^^

peace. love. joy. 

🌿

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ep. 02: And the story begins...